Resolution.

In 2012 I will...

1.

2.

3.

4.

do nothing. is this bad?

od

so much thoughts that my heart hurts from the adrenaline.
i hate this feeling.
deep breath doesn't help.
if i died, i would want one thing,
for her, him and them to be happy.
it hurts.
the fast beat. hurts.

Glee - I Feel Pretty / Unpretty

rachel and quinn did a mash up of pretty (west side story) and unpretty (TLC)
beautiful :) just beautiful.

why bother?

have u ever come to a point in life where you say "why bother" for every single thing that happens to you? like,

why bother working so hard on a project when the ones getting the fame is the boss?
why bother working so hard trying to save a cancer patient when you know he'll die in the end?
why bother screaming your lungs out just to get your students to submit their freakin homework when you know they'll fail anyway?
why bother saving up when wealth doesn't bring you a lifetime happiness?
why bother getting a degree when u end up working like a dog?
why bother getting a master's degree when u are being treated like your degree is a zero?
why bother standing by someone's side when u're a history when they're at the top?
why bother keeping up with life when it always brings you back to square one?
why bother finding a husband when he'll end up screwing younger chicks anyway?

why bother?
why?

i've told you. i wish oh i wish life has an actual manual guideline.

Where the hell is Tatie?

watching this video makes me sad. i'm gonna be 24 this year and if i were to die by the age of 70, it means i have less than 50 years left and i have zillions of places that i havent been to. i want to travel around the world, so bad. :( but i'm so scared. i always feel like teaching from one country to another but i'm so scared to take the risk. yes, it is risky. what if i cant adapt myself to new people, new places, new culture? what if people cant accept me? what if i feel homesick? how do i build up a career if i keep moving around? urgh! yea i know, ranting here is a waste of time. while matt is already dancing in two more new countries, tatie is still here (only) THINKING about it.

doctors should stick to their scrubs and leave the singing to GLEEk.

never have i ever paused grey's anatomy (well except for grabbing snacks and stuff - but never have i paused to actually blog about it.) and that's not a good thing. it's grey's anatomy musical episode and i wasnt aware of it at first. started when kelly saw her own soul looking at her while she struggles through the blood and cuts for the accident. and the soul started singing. ok, that was ok. it's supposed to be a ghost, so it's okay for a ghost to sing. and thennnn, while they were opening her up, HUNT started singing..ookk.. then BAILEY started singing. homg! u're in the middle of blood and chaos for God sake. i wasn't even praying for them to save kelly. i was praying for them to stop singing. Lexie was ok. i couldnt take it anymore when HUNT started singing again and here i am. LOL. ok i'll press the play button now. let's see if i change my mind. :)

when songs hit you right on the face.

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through thisWhat can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!